confused_chaos (confused_chaos) wrote,

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i've got the blues

i'm struggling. i'm becoming more depressed. mostly about my weight. i know, i know..."you're not fat". i have gained a bunch of weight though and i dunno why. like all of a sudden my metabolism just decided to hit the brakes. within about a month or month and a half i've jumped up like 3 sizes. none of my clothes fit. i dont know why this is happening. my eating habits haven't changed. but lately i just haven't had any energy whatsoever. that's not normal for me. my whole life i have been very active and i was always doing something. now i barely have the motivation to go outside. i hate it. when i do get outside i just get so tired so easily. not like outta breath tired, but like physically tired. my muscles just dont wanna work that hard anymore and i dunno why. im just tired all the time. i will get 10 or 11 hours of sleep a night and still be exhausted all day the next day and will have to lay down for a nap. uhhh! what's the freaking deal?! i hate this! this weight gain is making me soooo self-concious and i have such low self-esteem now. i just feel ugly all the time and it's making me sad because i've never felt this way before. and the fact that my family members call me fat right to my face, and behind my back, doesn't help the situation either. sheesh.
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